Sunday, June 29, 2008

Did you feel comfortable with your relatives ?

Reading an excellent article on a french magazine, I have tried to remind if I felt comfortable in my family, the answer is : NO.
Most of the time with my parents at home or in the car I felt no secure. With my grand parents (from dad) I felt unsecure. At school too, I have memory of a big kid who saw me in the toilets at younger kids school, he opened the door, and I was inside, BUT NOTHING COMES BACK on mind !
With my grand parents (from mom) I felt secure, why ? Because I was loved, I wanted to spend my childood with them. My grand father drove me anywhere, I discovered flowers, vegetables, gardening, life. When he was a cop, he was an alcoholic, my mother told me he spanked her very often and she had to buy beer and wine bottles for him.
But he had a cancer so he stopped drinking alcohol and he used to drink water with some lemon juice.
My grand father (from dad) was an alcoholic too, he drove me too Zoo but my one memory is one day he was drunk, my grand mother coming back home took me and she drove me back home, my grand father followed her with his car, and she said "He's has rocksin his head". I cried in the car because I loved my grand father, but I couldn't love my grand mother.

The one moment, I felt really secure was at Xmas, when my grand parents were at home on December 24th, I wanted to keep them with me forever. I was afraid of anything, but I told myself, we can't feel unsecure because we're all in one house. I didn't want to lose my grand father.
He passed away on 1988.


Just another Guy! said...

As each day passes, I'm getting further and further away from the troubled history of my family...

...On the other hand, being present in my father's house has brought so much "unfinished business" into full view.

You're seeing a lot of those traces within your family, and still within yourself.

Here, in the USA they've come to call Vacation, "Staycation"~~because of rising fuel costs & food costs, people are staying close to home this Summer.

I'm on Staycation this year!
(Wish I weren't...)

Keep smiling, Fran.

Fran said...

I understand Will.
I don't go on vacations too, because I'm a debtor; about 2 months I don't know if I'll be online again, just because I won't have money anymore.
I haven't a car, so I don't mind about rising fuel, but food costs don't help.
Most of French people go on vacation, this is what they say on TV, my neighbors go to the beach, at less I don't hear them arguing as usual;)
About family, I feel free, now ! Just because I don't hear any news about them.
Take Care.
xx Fran

Will said...

~~Well. All I'm doing is looking for work, and staying close to home.

(I've been doing lot's of thinking & writing...This helps a lot, Fran.
I'm sorry, you may lose your online.)

I would help if I could. Stay in touch, if you can. I understand.