My old friend C

She is on the left, I'm on the right.1998


When I was a kid I used to spend holidays with my friends around, but on 83's they weren't around.
Once I met a girl I was only 12 y old, and she was 15.I didn't try to talk to her, but she did ask me a shop place for buying some bread. I said that I'll drive her to this shop, talking walking, I heard she was from north of France, she has a sister, and a older brother, she spent holidays in my flat, with her father (her parents were divorced). She became a friend, we spent all July days together, she teached me how to dance, and sometimes her father drived us to the beach.
I felt happy and glad because my own father didn't like going to the beach with his children.
One day we were on a beach, her sister was pleasant, we ate good hot dogs, it was a nice day, we laught, everything was good for us.
But coming back to the car, her father tried to remove her swim swit, and he successed. She was naked in front of her old brother and her young sister but in front of me too. Her father came to me and tried too, I put my shirt on me and I said "no ! ", I sit on the car, beside C and her sister, C were crying, I couldn't know what I could do for her, and her father said "Fran... is vicious she weared her shirt because she didn't want to be naked", he laught, and the older brother too.
C never told me if he raped her.
One month later I left with my parents for going on holidays.
I kept in touch with C. Writing and writing her.
Some years after we forgot each other, but when Internet appeared, I found her on white pages and I wrote her again, she wrote back telling her life "she was pregnant on 15, just after the holidays, the boy left her, and she has a daughter, she sent me a picture.
We met again because with her husband she spent new holidays on 98's, I felt happy to meet her children 3 boys and her daughter a brown one with brown eyes, C has blue eyes and her husband too.
We went to a beach, and she didn't care of the baby the younger one, he was red under the sun.
I felt unconfortable.
One moment she said me to follow her, and I did.
She told me that her daughter didn't know her father, the true one. I said "why don't you tell her ? C I'm scared because one day she'll know and she will hate you, do you mind ?" She answered "yes I know", but nothing more.
Thinking about her I realized (I didn't know my background yet) that her daughter could have as father her grand father. She looked like him, poor little girl.
One year after C tried to keep in touch with me, but I didn't want, I had my brain stroke on december 98 and I didn't want to look back anymore.
She's a poor victim, she doesn't love her children. She was lost. But I couldn't help her.
I tell you this story because I don't focus only on myself, on my background, I have seen a lot of victims, This blog is just a therapy as the last one about the sexual abuses.
I don't complain and I'm not a mythomaniac.
When we are victims, we meet most of the time other victims, that's my opinion.