In memory of Bruno

Bruno was the taller boy up, with his smiling face, and I was the queen of sadness the first one from right to left set down. He was 14 y old, I was 13.

Bruno was in my class at 5 level. He was a rascal, I mean he liked wasting people's face. He was older than me, a strange boy, with blue eyes.
Once he told me that his parents knew mine, I asked my mother if she reminded something, she answered without hesitation "no". Bruno had a victim face. Now thinking of him, I'm sure he has been abused.
I was his victim, he liked teasing me, screaming I was in love with him (that was true) ; he humiliated a boy from my class removing the pants of this boy in front of all kids waiting for their teacher. he raised my dress (the one time I dressed one at school).
But I felt he wasn't as strong as he used to show. One day I was at a drawing class and I was showing to a pal of mine some pictures from a teenager's magazine "OK", I showed Police' band and Kim Wilde. Bruno came to me after the class and asked me if I wanted to share pictures with him.
He wanted Police band's pictures, and he'd give me Kim Wilde's pictures. I said ok.
I felt to much glad he talked to me.
We shared pictures then, I was proud to have a buddy like him.
At the end of the school year, a teacher wanted to plan a rafting trip in The Verdon's place. I didn't know how to swim and I didn't want to spend time with most of my ass buddies, so I have never asked permission to my parents.
We had a good sport's teacher, but I had to lie to him: I told him I couldn't go there because my parents didn't give me permission, and Bruno couldn't go there for the same reason. So the plan was done. Bruno stayed with me asking me why I couldn't go there. And he told me how much his parents sucked, and didn't want to please him. He was very disappointed. I was ashamed.
On June I moved with my funky parents, and I've never met him again.
On 1985, I was in a mall, with my mother, and I met one of my ass buddies, she told me that Bruno had kill himself .
I was shocked, I couldn't believe he did that, and he wasn't alive anymore.I thought my pal lied to me, later I received a letter from one of my old buddies , and she wrote he did.
Bruno is an angel, sometimes I think of him, he was so ironic, so provocative. He was just 15 years old...RIP Bruno, I won't forget you.

Did you feel comfortable with your relatives ?

Reading an excellent article on a french magazine, I have tried to remind if I felt comfortable in my family, the answer is : NO.
Most of the time with my parents at home or in the car I felt no secure. With my grand parents (from dad) I felt unsecure. At school too, I have memory of a big kid who saw me in the toilets at younger kids school, he opened the door, and I was inside, BUT NOTHING COMES BACK on mind !
With my grand parents (from mom) I felt secure, why ? Because I was loved, I wanted to spend my childood with them. My grand father drove me anywhere, I discovered flowers, vegetables, gardening, life. When he was a cop, he was an alcoholic, my mother told me he spanked her very often and she had to buy beer and wine bottles for him.
But he had a cancer so he stopped drinking alcohol and he used to drink water with some lemon juice.
My grand father (from dad) was an alcoholic too, he drove me too Zoo but my one memory is one day he was drunk, my grand mother coming back home took me and she drove me back home, my grand father followed her with his car, and she said "He's has rocksin his head". I cried in the car because I loved my grand father, but I couldn't love my grand mother.

The one moment, I felt really secure was at Xmas, when my grand parents were at home on December 24th, I wanted to keep them with me forever. I was afraid of anything, but I told myself, we can't feel unsecure because we're all in one house. I didn't want to lose my grand father.
He passed away on 1988.